My New Car Potty

A few months ago I saw a dishwasher detergent container upcycle on Pinterest in which the pinner turned it into a trash bin for her car. My first thought: ummmm...have you seen my car? I don't think that's going to be big enough. My second thought: self-contained potty jug! The opening is big, it can be closed, and you can line it with an old, unused diaper to soak up the pee so it doesn't spill (it sure beats holding the diaper in the shape of a urinal in front of your kid and telling him in vain, "aim here").

Living in Fear of Poop

Please tell me I'm not the only mother of a three-year-old living in constant fear of him having an "accident" at school.

Yes, I'm one of "those" moms, sending my just-barely potty-trained kid to his first year of Child Must Be Toilet Trained preschool. Today is Day Two, and just like yesterday, I'm dreading the possibility of picking him up and seeing him wearing...insert blood-curdling scream...The Change of Clothes.

If I see him in tan shorts and a red shirt this afternoon, it's all good until tomorrow.

You see, potty training my older son was such a nightmare that I prematurely declared little Pie successfully trained even though he hasn't pooped in the toilet to date. I mean, consider the facts, and hopefully you'll agree: during the day, Pie pees in the toilet almost 100% of the time. By the grace of God, he only poops once a day, after breakfast, so I just leave him in his nighttime Pull-Up until he stinks it up, and then we're ready to tackle the day. There. I call that potty trained.

Well, except on days like today. We all got up a little late, and I wasn't able to shove enough breakfast foods down Pie's little gullet (you know, to get things moving) before we had to leave for school. Sigh. It's not like I'm for "stool withholding"--but I'm just hoping he can hold it until he gets home. I'll gladly clean up poopy underpants just to keep myself from being labeled "that mom who can't potty train her kids" (Bug had the same teacher last year...and he had, um, problems).

All right, the hour of truth is fast approaching. Please help me pray for tan shorts.

Could You Pee in a Diaper?

My little Pie, who turned three today, will sit on the toilet without argument, but he just won’t go potty. In a way, I can understand: this is a totally foreign concept to him, as he has been peeing in a diaper since Day One. I know if I have to go somewhere out of the ordinary, like in the woods for example, it’s hard to let it flow--it might take a minute or two to get over the psychological hurdle.

I'm imagining Pie thinking, "I can't go potty in the toilet--that's absurd!" Kind of like when the media reported on tourists who wore adult diapers to the Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop a few years ago (check out this incontinence-education blog post outing adult diaper-wearers. It's totally un-PC for me to say this, but it made me cringe). Going in a diaper? What kind of person could do that?

A toddler, that's who. I guess I need to put on my psychologist hat now.

More potty updates to come.

I'm Not Defending Octomom--or Am I?

I was listening to the news in the background yesterday when I heard that someone had called the authorities on "Octomom" Nadya Suleman because her kids were seen going potty in the back yard.

Now, I'm all for calling CPS on Octomom (more on that in a minute), but let's think this through. The octuplets are three years old. The photos clearly show the kids sitting on potty chairs. Are we not allowed to toilet-train our kids in the backyard anymore? I always have at least one boy running around the yard with his doodle hanging out as soon as it gets warm. Is somebody gonna call the cops now? We also need to cut her some slack for having to potty train eight kids at once. I would have run away from home.