Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Monday, February 3, 2014
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Gratitude for Ungrateful Kids
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My initial guess is that this is not going to be a well-received point of view. Especially because I'm about to bring up Dr. Laura Schlesinger.
The other day, a mom called into the Dr. Laura radio show to complain about her ungrateful tween daughter. "She thinks the whole world revolves around her," the exasperated mother lamented. The mom then went on to describe what I think we all experience as middle-class parents. The kids don't appreciate anything: the mound of toys we buy for them, the lessons we pay for and shuttle them back and forth to, the fabulous trips from every festival in town to amusement parks in other states, the meals we meticulously prepare and then and inevitably scrape into the garbage disposal half an hour later.
And then Dr. Laura broke in with her response. They're kids. They don't know anything besides this. They don't have the experience or worldview that we parents do.
Okay, that was unexpected.
I don't remember if she ended up giving the mom any actual advice, but that call really struck a nerve. We all want our kids to be grateful (especially around this time of year). But seriously...we do give them everything they want--and more. They haven't forgone ice skating or ballet lessons because Mom and Dad couldn't afford it. They haven't lived an entire summer eating only canned pork and beans and ramen noodles. They haven't gone without health insurance for a couple years. They havent lived in a rat-, cockroach-, or flying ant-infested house with a broken down furnace.
Don't get me wrong: I want my kids to be thankful. The fact that they are usually not thankful upsets and pains me. Sometimes, when I get really exasperated, I wish I could send them down to the 'hood for a few days to live in a dirty apartment with ten siblings, no dad, and a mommy who didn't even want them in the first place (then I lighten up a little and think maybe we should just go on a working farm vacation over in Amish country).
My point is this: Dr. Laura is right. They don't get it. So what do we do? Make them do a few chores. Make sure they see you doing your chores. Don't serve their food arranged in the shape of a teddy bear. Talk to them about some of the tough times you went through as a kid (my personal favorites are the one where Dad had pneumonia and we had to live on deer meat and welfare cheese for a month, and the sad story about how I asked Santa for the Barbie Dream House* every year and never got it).
They'll figure it out eventually.
*If you're a fellow child of he '70s or '80s and never got the Barbie Dream House either, watch this video. The memory of this commercial will be like a dagger in your heart. I promise.
Welcome to The Sunday Parenting Party, hosted by Dirt and Boogers, Play Activities, Crayon Freckles, Taming the Goblin, The Golden Gleam, Prickly Mom, and The Tao of Poop. The SPP is place for readers to find ideas on nurturing, educating, and caring for children, as well as honest posts about the stresses of being a parent or caregiver. Links to reviews and giveaways are welcome as long as they are relevant to the topic. All parenting philosophies are welcome with one exception: please do not link to posts promoting physical discipline, as this is something we would feel uncomfortable having on our blogs. (P.S. By linking up you agree that your post and photos are Pinterest, Sulia, G+ and FB friendly. We will be showcasing ideas on The Sunday Parenting Party Pinterest board.)
My initial guess is that this is not going to be a well-received point of view. Especially because I'm about to bring up Dr. Laura Schlesinger.
The other day, a mom called into the Dr. Laura radio show to complain about her ungrateful tween daughter. "She thinks the whole world revolves around her," the exasperated mother lamented. The mom then went on to describe what I think we all experience as middle-class parents. The kids don't appreciate anything: the mound of toys we buy for them, the lessons we pay for and shuttle them back and forth to, the fabulous trips from every festival in town to amusement parks in other states, the meals we meticulously prepare and then and inevitably scrape into the garbage disposal half an hour later.
And then Dr. Laura broke in with her response. They're kids. They don't know anything besides this. They don't have the experience or worldview that we parents do.
Okay, that was unexpected.
I don't remember if she ended up giving the mom any actual advice, but that call really struck a nerve. We all want our kids to be grateful (especially around this time of year). But seriously...we do give them everything they want--and more. They haven't forgone ice skating or ballet lessons because Mom and Dad couldn't afford it. They haven't lived an entire summer eating only canned pork and beans and ramen noodles. They haven't gone without health insurance for a couple years. They havent lived in a rat-, cockroach-, or flying ant-infested house with a broken down furnace.
Don't get me wrong: I want my kids to be thankful. The fact that they are usually not thankful upsets and pains me. Sometimes, when I get really exasperated, I wish I could send them down to the 'hood for a few days to live in a dirty apartment with ten siblings, no dad, and a mommy who didn't even want them in the first place (then I lighten up a little and think maybe we should just go on a working farm vacation over in Amish country).
My point is this: Dr. Laura is right. They don't get it. So what do we do? Make them do a few chores. Make sure they see you doing your chores. Don't serve their food arranged in the shape of a teddy bear. Talk to them about some of the tough times you went through as a kid (my personal favorites are the one where Dad had pneumonia and we had to live on deer meat and welfare cheese for a month, and the sad story about how I asked Santa for the Barbie Dream House* every year and never got it).
They'll figure it out eventually.
*If you're a fellow child of he '70s or '80s and never got the Barbie Dream House either, watch this video. The memory of this commercial will be like a dagger in your heart. I promise.
Welcome to The Sunday Parenting Party, hosted by Dirt and Boogers, Play Activities, Crayon Freckles, Taming the Goblin, The Golden Gleam, Prickly Mom, and The Tao of Poop. The SPP is place for readers to find ideas on nurturing, educating, and caring for children, as well as honest posts about the stresses of being a parent or caregiver. Links to reviews and giveaways are welcome as long as they are relevant to the topic. All parenting philosophies are welcome with one exception: please do not link to posts promoting physical discipline, as this is something we would feel uncomfortable having on our blogs. (P.S. By linking up you agree that your post and photos are Pinterest, Sulia, G+ and FB friendly. We will be showcasing ideas on The Sunday Parenting Party Pinterest board.)
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