Sunday, August 18, 2013

I Need My Village

"It takes a village to raise a child."

When I realized that I actually wanted to write a blog post on this topic, it totally irked me that over the past decade or so, politicians from across the country have turned this pan-African proverb into such an annoying cliche that I can't hear or read it without thinking of Hilary Clinton (and God knows the media is ramming Hilary Clinton down our throats so much lately that I don't need any additional reminders. But, I digress).

It does take a village. We, as moms, need the support.

I've written a lot over the past couple years about my introversion, my problem with yelling, and the respect I have for my own wonderful mother. I've been lately stuck in a cycle of trying to give myself credit for the progress Ive made in becoming a more even-tempered mom, and the "complete 180" of that sentiment, beating myself up for not living up to my unfairly self-imposed standard of being as good a parent as my mom was (note to Prickly Grandma: I know you yelled and got annoyed with us and didn't vacuum every day ... but I'm looking at the whole thing in hindsight. You brought up three successful kids who work hard, love learning, and care for others. That's what I aspire to).

That being said, I think I've done an excellent job creating the best "village" I can to help me in raising my family. Although our relatives visit regularly, we don't live near any of them, so I rely on Prickly Dad's sensible nature and the pleasant company (and hugs) of the wonderful friends I've made, as well as the handful of fellow mom bloggers around the world whose advice has gotten me through many days.

I hardly ever say this out loud, but my boys are the lights of my life -- but it's that "village" of support that helps me regain the proper perspective on those days filled with whining and juice-spilling and sibling fights. The encouragement from friends, the days at preschool, the weekends at the grandparents' are all things that are necessary to me, and probably all moms, to keep us from going completely bonkers (as opposed to somewhat bonkers, which can usually be easily dealt with).

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  1. Thanks for the feature. It's interesting that you put in a caveat for picklygrandma, my mum said to me the other day "I must have been such an awful mother yelling ask the time". She thinks that the way I'm choosing to raise goblin is a direct refection of my child hood experiences. In fact I had a lovely childhood

  2. Monko, I always love what you have to say. The funny thing about the title of your aforementioned post is that we weren't allowed to say "suck" or "sucky" growing up bc my mom thought it was "obscene." (It stuck with me because I do still cringe at that word. I also feel guilty if I drink soda at breakfast time even though I'm a grown woman). I had a good childhood too, even though my mom yelled. Maybe that means you and I should cut ourselves some slack? :)

  3. Thanks for featuring us! What a lovely surprise :)